BB Number Three

Who would you invite to your dinner party, and why?

This prompt comes from Debbie, in true English-professor fashion. Modeled off of an article by Marina Warner, who hosted a faux-party with six guests, a chef, and sous-chef. The point, however, was to not only invite your favorite people or those who are most influential to you. Warner made a point to create her guest list based upon pairings: which two people would sit with whom, making for the most dynamic set of three couples around the dinner table?

I thought and thought and thought about all the literary figures who've been stuffed into my head throughout my life, but then I decided, "You know what? SCRAP THAT. It's summertime. And there are more awesome people in the world than just Englishy folk." (Although, many very cool people are Englishy folk. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be studying what I am. [What I am studying, that is. Not what I am. Except, I suppose I do study what I am here, as well. It's unavoidable.])

And so, in true nonconformist fashion, I am inviting three of my favorite people in the world, who all incidentally get along famously with one another, and I am pairing them with people who I feel are interesting enough to make for an awesome party and who my friends would adore. (Aaaaand, breathe.)

Pair One: The ravishing and intensely complicated Andrea S. I am pairing her with Salvador Dalí. He has always been one of the most enigmatic artists to me, so I'd like him to come to the party. I'm pairing them because, for one, Drea is an artist.

And although this may be hotly contested, I am going to argue that a tortured soul's lamentations are often soothed best by another tortured soul. Dalí and Drea can sit side by side, their heads bent toward each other with magnetic whispers, sipping vodka on the rocks. (Or with soda.) Then, when they're good and drunk, they can crazily throw cats around the room.

stipulations: Dalí must come later in his life, when he painted like this:

He must bring a blank canvas and paints, as well, because I want him to take a break from Gala and paint Drea instead. Since I'm the host for this incredible dinner party, he'll have to leave the canvas with me, though. Sorry, Salvador. And I'd really like Drea to come with her hair down, dramatic eyes, and wearing layers upon layers of wispy, gossamer chiffon.

Pair Two: My outrageously gregarious and beautiful friend Miranda S. She gets to sit with Betsey Johnson. I am fairly certain that Miranda and Betsey, kicked back with cosmopolitans or tequila shots, each wiggling a four-inch-heeled ankle off of crossed thighs, would be an unstoppable pair. They'd exude boisterous, sexy drama punctuated with sparkly pink laughter that would fill the room to the brim. They, too, would soon be drunk, and then they'd talk of nothing but how great it is to be blonde and fabulous. And no one would argue with them.

stipulations: Miranda has to wear her "OMG that's low"-cut black and white patterned halter dress, and Betsey has to bring party favors for the girls (me, Mir, and Drea). Yes, that is how it works at my party. The favors will be a bag stuffed with a pair of shoes, a piece of jewelry, and either a bottle of perfume or a pair of sunglasses. All by Betsey. And my friends can pick with pieces they want.

In case you're wondering, I would choose:

Pair Three: The intelligent, intimidating, breathtaking, hysterical Anthony D. (Are you sick of hearing about him yet?) It was really, really hard for me to pair Tony with someone, perhaps because I wanted to just pair him with myself and get it ovah with. But that's not the point. So, instead, I'm pairing him with Joey Burns. I think, of all the singers in all the bands in all the world, Tony would get along best with Joey. I can picture them seated at the table, chairs migrating to face one another more and more after each draft pint (suddenly I've got beer taps! Hooray!) talking of eating enchiladas in a dark, dingy, Guadalajaran restaurant while a Spanish woman named Rocío flamenco dances with castanets. Joey will tell Tony that next time, he has to come along.

"When?" Tony will ask.

"Next Thursday? There's this Mexican festival I've always wanted to go to -- supposedly they sell the best churros and chocolate, and there are mariachi bands lining the streets..."

And the next thing we know, they're debating whether to drive or fly.

stipulations: Both Joey and Tony have to bring their guitars. Tony can use mine if he can't get ahold of his (depending on how long he's been back from Korea), but the instruments will be mandatory. And I won't want to listen to any arguing about how Tony "isn't good enough" because, even though it is a bit difficult to be as good as Joey Burns on guitar, Tony can hold his own. We'll also work on getting Joey super drunk so he plays worse.

Food

As far as food goes, I would like Julia Child in the kitchen and my mom as sous-chef. When I was very young, I remember my mom watching Julia Child's cooking show. I always thought the way she talked was so funny, but she started to grow on me after spending so much time on my TV at home. I would love to hear her bumbling around in my kitchen, exclaiming whenever a sauce turned out just right. My mom would slink right under her wing as sous-chef. Luckily, she is a pretty amazing cook herself. I'd want a very french meal, too, because good french food seems damn near impossible to come by in America. Ratatouille, spinach quiches, provencal cornish game hen, chocolate crepes. I don't know. Whatever Julia comes up with. I just want french food.

Music

Lastly, I am going add a little bit to my party. Sure, Joey and Tony will rock out with their guitars while we're drinking, but when the food is served, we'll need background music. But I don't want to listen to the radio, or CDs, or even vinyl. I want a band. And, because there is no way I could ever pick a single band to come play at my dinner party, I am going to hand-pick my musicians instead. And so, without further ado, I'd like to present the Lauren Dinner Party Group.

vocals: Leslie Feist and Amy Millan (but only if she sings like she sings in Stars, not how she sings on her solo album.)

guitar: Jenny Lewis and Britt Daniel (they would also obviously sing, as well.)

bass: Nate Query (from The Decemberists)

drums: Arlen Thompson (from Wolf Parade)

piano: Regina Spektor (nom nom nom)

violin: Marc Bianchi (he is basically the entirety of Her Space Holiday, right??)

I also want probably five or six other people to play, but this is just a short and concise list because, let's be honest, I've been writing this post for like seventeen hours now. And I'm sure you're just as sick of reading it by now. Not to mention very upset that you can't come to my kick-ass party (because it doesn't exist. *sadface* Maybe some day...).